At first you are shocked at the news. Your loved one has been told by their doctor that cancer has been diagnosed. Of course you want to help but then you may wonder how. Is there a list of things to do and not to do when helping someone who has cancer?

Well yes there are several things you can and should do and some you should avoid. Here are a few tips.

First of all, don't change. Be yourself. The cancer news is one thing but nothing else has changed. You don't suddenly have to become a different person whenever you are around your loved one. Continue being the person you have always been. Your love and friendship is what is needed and definitely not an invented person. Be natural and be yourself.

If you are naturally someone with a sense of humor, continue in that vein. If you are a person who sees the funny side of things, continue in that way. Of course your loved one may feel sad and struggle but the one thing they need most of all is you as you've always been.

Be there or be available is a good tip. Sometimes an ill person can experience loneliness. If you are a visitor or a phone call away or a sender of letters and emails, that is a wonderful way to help. It may mean in conversations that you say little and spend most of the time listening. That's good. Listening is good, very good. But being available is a real plus to your friend.

Running errands and doing the simple and mundane things can be a huge help. A person who is seriously ill may not feel up to doing something or they may have the ability but not the inclination. You cannot overestimate the benefits you bring by doing the chores for someone in need.

Are you able to help with money matters? If the patient is struggling financially, that only increases their concern. If they have dependents the worry doubles. If you are able to pay a bill or buy some groceries or the cost of a child's school excursion, this small thing means so much. It is always better to give than receive and you will find great happiness in helping even in a small way.

Laughter is not a crime. In a serious life-threatening illness situation, it may seem inappropriate to laugh. Not so. If you find a get-well card with something humorous, send it to your loved one. Laughter is a great medicine and laugh lines are beautiful.

Practical help can often be in the form of transport. A person with cancer may need to visit medical centers for treatment and appointments. Not having to worry about the travel is a huge load off their mind. If you can be their taxi service, you will be doing a great job.

The help you can give is almost unlimited from the small, simple and inexpensive to anything bigger and more involved. Remember your kindness means a lot and besides, you'll get a real kick out of helping as well.




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